【改译】A writer can die a natural death,or a painful death, or a merry death.
第二自然段:
自然的死属于心脏停止跳动,是一种普遍的死亡形式,没有特色,可以略而不议。
Natural death, caused by the discontinuation of heartbeat, is a common form of death with no characteristics of its own, and therefore may as well be left out without any comment.
【分析】英语译文对原文句法和风格的处理是值得肯定的。译文的问题在于译者对原文“自然的死属于心脏停止跳动”事实性信息识解的结果不准确,体现在对“自然的死”和“心脏停止跳动”的关系表述上。“The discontinuation of heartbeat”是一种死亡的特征、迹象,说“Natural death,caused by the discontinuation of heartbeat”是不合医学事实的。可以说“death is indicated by the discontinuation of heartbeat”。所以,英语译文所表达的信息是与英语读者认知世界关于由于疾病或衰老的自然死亡ICM是不一致的。在这个意义上,译文不能对英语读者建构语篇认知世界产生积极意义。汉语“略而不议”的“略”指施动者一种主动的行为,英语“dismiss”要好过“leave out”,因为“dismiss”的ICM所指向的是一种有意为之的行为,而“leave out”的ICM 则不是。
【改译1 A natural death, indicated by the discontinuation of heartbeat, is a common form of death with no characteristics of its own, and therefore may as well be dismissed without any comment.
责任编辑:admin