The Christmas bells drew me forth this morning.With but half-formed purpose, I walked through soft, hazy sunshine towards the city, and came into the Cathedral Close, and after lingering awhile, heard the first notes of the organ, and so entered. I believe it is more than thirty years since I was in an English church on Christmas-day. The old time and the old faces lived again for me; I saw myself on the far side of the abyss of years -- that self which is not myself at all, though I mark points of kindred between the beings of then and now. He who in that other world sat to hear the Christmas gospel, either heeded it not at all -- rapt in his own visions -- or listened only as one in whose blood was heresy. He loved the notes of the organ, but even in his childish mind, distinguished clearly between the music and its local motive. More than that, he could separate the melody of word and of thought from their dogmatic significance, enjoying the one whilst wholly rejecting the other. "On earth peace, goodwill to men" -- already that line was among the treasures of his intellect, but only no doubt, because of its rhythm, its sonority. Life, to him, was a half-conscious striving for the harmonic in thought and speech -- and through what a tumult of unmelodious circumstance was he beginning to fight his way!
今天早晨,我跟随着圣诞节的钟声出了家门。我不确定自己到底要去哪里,只是在柔和的、雾蒙蒙的阳光下向城市的方向走去,最后来到教堂院区。逗留片刻之后,我听到了管风琴奏出的第一段旋律,于是进入了教堂。我想自己已经有三十多年没有在圣诞日到英国的教堂来了。旧日的时光与熟悉的容颜又在我的心中生动起来,我看到自己站在岁月深渊的遥远彼岸一一尽管那时的我与现在的我之间有许多相似之处,但那个我根本不是我自己。在另一个世界里的他,坐在那里聆听着圣诞福音;也可能根本没有凝神倾听,而是正沉浸于自己的幻想之中;或者仅仅是听着,但身体里流淌的却是异教徒的血液。他喜欢管风琴奏出的乐曲,但他那幼小的心灵却已经能够清楚地区分音乐本身和其中褊狭的动机。除此之外,他还能够将文字和思想的旋律,与它们的教条意义区分开来，只享受前者,而完全摒弃后者。“在大地上,平安归与神所喜悦的人”——这句话已经成为他的智慧财富了,但无疑,只是因为它的韵律和令人印象深刻的词句。对他而言,生活就是一种对思想与语言之和谐的半觉醒状态的追求——而他是在多么纷繁芜杂的环境中开始奋力前行的啊!
Today I listen with no heretical promptings. The music, whether of organ or word, is more to me than ever; the literal meaning causes me no restiveness. I felt only glad that I had yielded to the summons of the Christmas bells. I sat among a congregation of shadows, not in the great cathedral, but in a little parish church far from here. When I came forth, it astonished me to see the softly radiant sky and to tread on the moist earth; my dream expected a wind-swept canopy of cold grey, and all beneath it the gleam of new-fallen snow. It is a piety to turn awhile and live with the dead, and who can so well indulge it as he whose Christmas is passed in no unhappy solitude? I would not now, if I might, be one of a joyous company; it is better to hear the long-silent voices and to smile at happy things which I alone can remember. When I was scarce old enough to understand, I heard read by the fireside the Christmas stanzas of In Memoriam. Tonight I have taken down the volume, and the voice of so long ago has read to me once again -- read as no other ever did, that voice which taught me to know poetry, the voice which never spoke to me but of good and noble things. Would I have those accents overborne by a living tongue, however welcome its sound at another time? Jealously I guard my Christmas solitude.
今天,我在聆听福音的时候，并没有受到异端想法的驱使。无论是管风琴奏出的乐曲,还是语言中蕴含的美妙意境,对我来说,都更胜从前。歌词的字面意义已不再让我感到不安。自己听从了圣诞钟声的召唤,这只让我感到喜悦。我坐在一群会众中间,不是在那个大教堂,而是在离它很远的一个小小的教区教堂里。当我走出教堂,看到遍布着温柔光辉的天空,踏上湿润的土地之时,我深感讶异一一在我的想象中,头上本应是寒风呼啸的灰色天空,脚下则应是微光闪耀的刚刚飘落的瑞雪。去墓地与逝者共处片刻,代表了一种虔诚之意,但除了在没有不幸意味的孤独之中度过圣诞的人之外,谁能如此放纵这种心情呢?即使我可以成为某个快乐群体的一员,此刻我也不会愿意;聆听永恒沉寂的诉说,或是独自一人沉浸在回忆中,为曾经的乐事不觉莞尔，这对我来说才是更好的选择。年轻的时候，我还不太了解这些,只是坐在炉火边听着一个声音朗读《悼念》中的圣诞章节。今晚,我取下了那本书,很久以前的那个声音再一次为我朗读——没有其他声音曾这样朗读过,那个声音教我理解诗歌,并且只向我讲述那些美好而高贵的事情。无论当今世人的话语在其他时刻多么受欢迎，我能眼看着那些久远的声音淹没其中吗?我小心翼翼地守护着我的圣诞节的孤独。
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