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初冬浴日漫感On Winter Sunshine
2019-12-01 10:10:33    丰子恺    英文巴士    


丰子恺

离开故居一两个月,一旦归来,坐到南窗下的书桌旁时,第一感到异样的,是小半书桌的太阳光。原来夏已去,秋正尽,初冬方到。窗外的太阳已随分南倾了。

Feng Zikai

After being away for a couple of months, I returned to my old home and took my place by the south window, but was surprised to find that most of my desk was now in the shade. Summer was long gone, and autumn was giving way to winter, so naturally enough the sun’s rays were now tilted from the south.

把椅子靠在窗缘上,背着窗坐了看书,太阳光笼罩了我的上半身。它非但不像一两月前地使我讨厌,反使我觉得暖烘烘地快适。这一切生命之母的太阳似乎正在把一种祛病延年,起死回生的乳汁,通过了她的光线而流注到我的体中来。

我掩卷瞑想:我吃惊于自己的感觉,为什么忽然这样变了?前日之所恶变成了今日之所欢:前日之所弃变成了今日之所求;前日之仇变成了今日之恩。张眼望见了弃置在高阁上的扇子,又吃一惊。前日之所欢变成了今日之所恶;前日之所求变成了今日之所弃;前日之恩变成了今日之仇。

I put a chair against the window and, with my back to the sunshine, sat down to read. The sun’s glow enveloped my upper body, and instead of roasting me as it did a couple of months ago, it made me feel warm and cozy. The mother of all living things seemed to be pouring her life-prolonging, regenerating milk into my body through her golden rays.

Closing my book, I began to meditate. I wondered how my feelings could change so drastically. What I loathed yesterday had now become my love, and what I threw away yesterday was now my goal. What I hated yesterday had now become my favorite. When I looked up and noticed the fan sitting on the shelf, I was once again shocked. What I loved yesterday was now loathsome, and what I pursued yesterday was now contemptible, what I craved yesterday was now despised.

忽又自笑:“夏日可畏,冬日可爱”,以及“团扇弃捐,”乃古之名言,夫人皆知,又何足吃惊?于是我的理智屈服了。但是我的感觉仍不屈服,觉得当此炎凉递变的交代期上,自有一种异样的感觉,足以使我吃惊。这仿佛是太阳已经落山而天还没有全黑的傍晚时光:我们还可以感到昼,同时已可以感到夜。又好比一脚已跨上船而一脚尚在岸上的登舟时光:我们还可以感到陆,同时已可以感到水。我们在夜里固皆知道有昼,在船上固皆知道有陆,但只是“知道”而已,不是“实感”。我久被初冬的日光笼罩在南窗下,身上发出汗来,渐渐润湿了衬衣。当此之时,浴日的“实感”与挥扇的“实感”在我身中混成一气,这不是可吃惊的经验么?

Suddenly I laughed to myself. The summer sun is awesome; the winter sun is lovable, and in autumn moon-shaped fans are all shelved – such sayings are known even to housewives, so why should I make such a fuss about change? My senses yielded, but my sensibilities refused to give in. When summer gives way to autumn, I often feel surprised by the strange feeling that steals over me. It is like nightfall – when the sun has already gone down, but the sky is not yet all dark, we can feel both day and night at once. Or, it is like boarding a ship – when you have one foot on the ship and the other is still on the shore, we can feel both land and sea simultaneously. We all know that there will be day after night and a new shore at the voyage’s end, but this knowledge is only an intuition, not a sensation. After sitting in the sun’s rays by the south window for a long while, I felt my shirt gradually soaked up by the ooze of my sweat. At that moment, the sensation of sunbathing mingled nicely with that of fanning. It was extraordinary!




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