冗长啰嗦为行文之大忌。但外文长句较多,用词造句和中文有着巨大的差异,所以译文中重复啰嗦的毛病尤为突出。不但影响句子的通顺,而且影响意思准确清楚。应特别注意。
一般说来,翻译中,只要能准确表达原意,可要可不要的字词应尽量删去。一些说法,如有意义相同但更简练的中国说法,应尽量用简单明了的表达方法。
1. [原文]“Let us go and eat and drink,”
[译文]“让我们去吃菜喝酒吧!”
[改译]“咱们吃喝去吧!”
2. [原文]“Forgive me if you can!”
[译文]“原谅我吧,要是你办得到的话”
[改译]“请您原谅。”
3. [原文]“Have you heard anything from your husband?”
[译文]“你听到什么你的男人的消息吗?”
[改译]“你男人有消息没有? ”
4. [原文] Well. we'll soon show you there are some smarter boys around.
[译文] 好吧,咱们马上就会让你看到处处都有比你高明的能人哪。
[改译]好吧,马上让你见识见识,强中还有强中手。
5. 物价飞涨,生活困难,又想起
[原文] And now, there was this mortgage to their house and lot, incurred three years ago when her husband was hospitalized.