而李、马的这几行绝妙的白描又与艾米利▪迪金森的下面几行诗极相似:
I take a flower as I go
My face to justify
He never saw me in this life
I might surprise his eye
I cross the hall with mingled steps
I silenily pass the door
I look on all this world contains —
Just his fare — nothing more!
3首诗都描摹一位少女遇到陌生人(或意中人?)时惴惴不安的举止和心理,三首诗都用了一些字面上很相似的用语,如“行又羞”,“和羞走”,“I cross the hall with mingled stepn”;“厌地回身”,“倚门回首 ”,“I silently pass the door”,“却把青梅嗅”,“I take a flower as I go”等。就狄金森诗的内容和形式来看,都与李、马词曲相仿佛,所以我们不妨摹拟松短句试译如下:
行行,摘娇花一朵在手,
欲人见,花面或相侍。
平生未曾邂逅。
相遇,恐令他色变惊眸。
过厅堂,和羞走。
悄声儿穿过门首,
抬头望,惟见君颜——
伸延遍宇宙!