4)……宝钗黛玉……都拍手笑道亏这一阵风来,把个老婆子撮了去了。”(第二十回)
杨译:
Baochai and Daiyu ... laughed and clapped their hands.
“How lucky that this hurricane sprang up and carried the old creature off I"
霍译:
Baochai and Dai-yu laughed and clapped their hands:
‘How splendid! Just the sort of wind we needed to blow the old woman away] ’
“噎”本指食物堵塞住咽喉,作者用它来比喻说的话像饭菜一样使人噎得难受,具体而形象;同样,作者将凤姐的言行比作一阵风,将 “撮”字喻义化,把李嬷嬷“脚不沾地”跟凤姐走了的形象活灵活现地展现出来。例3的两译文中,从总体上看,杨译显得简洁明快;而例4杨译的this hurricane sprang up…,似有曲解原文之嫌。
5) 宝玉道好妹妹,等我下了学再吃饭。和胭脂膏子也等我来再制。”劳叨了半日,方撤身去了。(第九回)
杨译:
"Don't have supper till I'm back,dear cousin," he begged. “And wait for me to mix your rouge. ”
After chatting for a while he turned to leave.
霍译:
'Wait till I get back and have had my supper, cousin,' said Bao-yu, 'and I will give you a hand with that rouge.'
He chatted with her for quite a bit longer before finally tearing himself away.
例5的“撤”字,常用于“撤兵”、“撤出”、“撤退”、“撤离”等重大严肃的事件上,可这里写宝玉上学前与黛玉告别,唠叨了半日才走这件小事,却用了“撤”字,把宝玉不喜读圣贤书,跟黛玉恋恋不舍的心情和 他对封建家长的叛逆性格都写出来了。同时,与下文的“黛玉忙又叫 住问道:‘你怎么不去辞辞你宝姐姐呢?’”相辅相成。分析两个译本, 霍克斯用了 tear oneself away(意指 to leave unwillingly),再加上 for quite a bit longer before finally这样的修饰成分,显然比杨译本在传达原文意旨方面更胜一筹。这一点应归功于译者对曹雪芹原著 的反复揣摩与品味。
曹雪芹深知言语魅力,写作态度谨严;杨霍两人又何尝不是下笔如有神,字斟句酌!欣赏两段译文,我们在赞叹两位翻译家译功的同时,更多的是感到:翻译事业——任重道远! “倘若有更多译者像他们那样用‘心’去翻译,我们肯定可以迎接幸福得多的新天新地。”
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