译文的句法缺陷显而易见。第一,谓语用will而不是用shall 表达时态,即“will issue”; “will be submitted"; “will issue”,不合法规英语时态特征。第二,语态随意变换,且有错误。如,译文最后一句will issue的主语是those projects,若结构成立,will issue应改为 will be issued。第三,词语翻译错误较多:“由经济发展局审批”译为 within the authorization limitation of the EDB,毫无根据,英语中没有authorization limitation这种说法;“投资总额在500万美元以下的项目”译作 Projects whose total investment amount under US $ 5,000,000,也不正确,因为whose是从句的引导词,只有名调主语, 没有谓语便不能成立;原文“投资总额在500万美元以下的项目” 指单个项目的投资总额,而译文用projects则意为多个项目加起来的投资总额,曲解了愿意;“发文批复”的结果也可能是不同意,译为certificate approval则只有“同意”一种结果了。
综合上述不足,加以修改,我们试将原译文重译为:
Any project with a total investment of less than US$ 5,000,000 shall be examined for approval by the EDB, and given a documentary reply by the Administrative Committee within 3 days. Any project with a total investment of more than US $ 5,000,000 or less than US $ 30,000,000 shall be submitted by the EDB to the Administrative Committee who is lo give a documentary reply within 5 days.